


see me

by hyunins (cbaekmx)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Jisung is in love, Loving Hyung Gazes, M/M, Suggestive Themes, This is cute, Unrequited Hyunchan, and jisung is like UGH! no!, chan just thinks hyunsung are the best, hyunjin thinks chan is soOoOoo perfect, kind of thing but like they weren't enemies jisung was just going through it, no capital letters you know me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbaekmx/pseuds/hyunins
Summary: jisung loves hyunjin, but hyunjin likes chan. except he doesn't, he just likes leadership. either way, jisung is over it.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 281





	see me

**Author's Note:**

> look i know it's been over 3 months since i last posted but hear me out: i'm fucking depressed! aha so anyway here's wonderwall :)
> 
> this was a forgotten wip that i found around a month ago and i slowly worked on it over the last few weeks so!! i'm really hoping it's not obvious it was written at very different times sjkdghskd pls enjoy!!

when hyunjin entered the company, jisung was faced with an emotion he had never felt before towards another boy. 

his heart skipped a beat, his palms got sweaty and most embarrassingly of all, his cheeks flushed pink whenever he would interact with him. it drove him mad, the way the other boy was taller, prettier and nicer than he was. the way his cheeks weren’t big and round like jisung’s but soft and slim instead, his lips full and pouty. the way he gained attention from all the cute female trainees seemingly just by existing. it was infuriating. 

when he found out they were supposed to debut together in the same group, he got so angry and embarrassed. of course this would happen to him. _of course_ he would have to debut with someone who made his insides twist and turn with feelings he should never have for a teammate.

jisung got so frustrated with the way he felt towards the taller boy that he turned to being mean to him a lot of the time. hyunjin would be mean back, which somehow made him feel better about the situation. petty comments turning into screaming matches, using specific insults they knew would cut deep. it got so out of hand sometimes that it would result in days of doing everything in their power to not be in the same room as one another. a mutual petty hatred.

it wasn’t always like that, though. five days out of a week they were friendly enough to put their other teammates at ease, but they were teenagers with raging hormones, it only took that one snarky comment thrown about carelessly for the two to completely blow up seemingly beyond repair.

it was a few weeks into filming their survival show when their leader found jisung crying alone in one of the company building’s bathrooms, all red-faced and upset.

“what happened?” chan had said, pulling the younger boy into his chest.

“i hate him,” jisung whimpered, shoulders shaking in chan’s arms. “i hate how he makes me feel.”

confused, the older boy placed his hands on jisung’s cheeks, lifting his head so that he could look him in the eyes. “what do you mean by that?” he wiped the tears from jisung’s face.

“i don’t want it. i can’t- i don’t want to.” jisung forced his way back to chan’s chest, he was utterly distraught.

chan had seen this moment coming from a mile away, he was sure it would happen sooner than it did. ever since hyunjin entered the company, he noticed the way jisung saw him.

jisung was never slick, never gained the talent of hiding his real feelings from his eyes. chan watched him most days, saw the way he watched the tall boy with a twinkle in his eyes. he also watched as the twinkle of adoration switched over to sadness, frustration and then hatred. but it wasn’t aimed at hyunjin, jisung hated himself for being so weak. the older boy knew it all just by looking into jisung’s eyes.

chan stroked his hair and lowered his voice, “do you love him?”

jisung sobbed, giving chan his answer. 

that night, chan held him and made him see his actions from hyunjin’s perspective. he told him that jisung had all of these thoughts rushing through his mind, giving him context and false reasoning behind his words, but hyunjin had nothing. just a friend who decided one day to make him feel like shit at any given chance.

jisung felt disgusting. without warning, he clambered off the bed, making his way to where he knew hyunjin would be. he knew he must have looked disgusting, too, having just been crying for hours on end, but he had to change things. he wished chan had told him earlier.

hyunjin was curled up under his blankets, face illuminated by the low brightness of his phone. he looked up at jisung and scowled.

“if you’re here to talk shit, go away.” he said in a way that made it clear how tired he was of their pointless fighting.

“i’m sorry for everything,” jisung rushed out, moving closer to the taller boy’s bed. “i’m so fucking sorry.”

hyunjin locked his phone and sat up, his blanket falling around his waist. it was awkward hearing those words coming from jisung’s mouth. he didn’t say anything, just stared at jisung, trying to decipher whether or not he was telling the truth.

jisung slowly closed the gap between him and the bed, gently sitting down next to hyunjin.

“were you crying?” now that jisung was close enough, hyunjin could see how distraught jisung really was. 

the younger boy quickly pulled his hoodie sleeve over his hand and wiped his face, nodding. “this is probably weird and unexpected but i don’t want to fight anymore, hyunjin. it’s all my fault and i’m-” he took a deep breath and looked up into hyunjin’s eyes, “i’m so sorry.” 

jisung was so sincere. he couldn’t have been more sincere if he tried. hyunjin’s bottom lip began to wobble and soon enough he was pulling jisung into a bone-crushing hug. it felt amazing.

“it hurt so much,” the larger boy whimpered into jisung’s neck. “i hate hating you.”

jisung’s chest felt tight hearing those words, but he pushed the feeling down and held onto the larger boy for dear life.

“i’m sorry.” he couldn’t stop saying it. hyunjin deserved to hear it a million times. “i really mean it. i’m so sorry. i can’t even give you a reason. i’m sorry.”

over the next couple of weeks, the two boys did their best to improve their relationship. the entire group dynamic changed dramatically and everyone felt happier and lighter with each day that passed.

the first time jisung spoke up and asked to be paired with hyunjin for rap lessons, jeongin laughed nervously and made a comment about fearing for hyunjin’s life. the older boy had smiled and said he wanted to go with him. jisung’s chest squeezed. the rest of the group looked at each other, shrugged and then continued to make pairs for that week’s schedule.

it happened a few more times, either hyunjin or jisung speaking up about wanting to be paired with the other for various activities. it wasn’t long until they were permanently paired up for almost everything.

throughout the next few months, they became inseparable. jisung did really well with concealing his feelings and he felt warm and fuzzy when he thought about how proud of himself he was for not letting himself be overwhelmed with emotions. hyunjin was his best friend and he wouldn’t have traded it for the world. yes, hyunjin made his heart explode on a daily basis but it’s not like he was trying to, so jisung silently forgave him every time. he learned to love the feeling of butterflies in his tummy and he even tricked himself into believing that was how everyone felt when their best friend smiled or laughed or simply brushed their thigh against theirs.

stray kids debuted, they had an incredibly successful first year and they couldn’t have asked for anything more. jisung and hyunjin were better best friends than ever before, but there was just one thing that jisung couldn’t shake from his mind.

hyunjin was clingy, everyone knew that, but lately he’d been clinging to their leader more than usual. jisung didn’t want to admit to being jealous but he just couldn’t help it. chan had better things to do that weren’t giving all of his attention to the younger boy, like giving all of his attention to literally anybody else and leaving jisung to give hyunjin the attention he needed instead, thank you very much.

hyunjin knew that it bothered jisung, him wanting their leader's attention, the younger was just as clingy as hyunjin was, just in his own way. but how could he not when the older boy was so nice and charming and handsome and caring? hyunjin was sick of hiding his feelings for chan, he’d done it for way too long. he liked chan. he liked chan a lot.

he had liked him ever since he realised just how perfect a leader he was, one month after debut. he was so strong and he would do anything to make sure his team was happy and cared for. the way the older boy spoke to him made him feel talented and worth it and confident. hyunjin was smitten, to say the least. 

but he wanted more from their leader, wanted a different kind of attention. wanted to be seen as an adult rather than the kid the older so obviously saw him as.

it wasn’t until hyunjin had to spell it out for him, had jisung realised exactly what was going on.

the two of them were on clean-up duty after a rather large and messy dinner, jisung washing the dishes while hyunjin dried them. the rest of the group fled as quickly as they could, not wanting to be dragged into helping, so they were as alone as they could be in a house full of 7 other boys and their manager.

“i don’t think chan sees me as anything but a little brother figure.” hyunjin said randomly.

“why would he?” jisung said, not really caring for the conversation.

“am i not attractive?” the smaller boy paused at this, confused as to what hyunjin meant. of course he was attractive, _are you kidding?_

“what’s that got to do with anything?” he handed a plate to the other.

“i’ll say something suggestive to him, but all he does is laugh and ruffle my hair. it’s like i’m just a kid to him, not attractive.” hyunjin was speaking so casually that it took jisung a moment to realise he was actually being serious.

“do you want him to think you’re attractive?” jisung raised an eyebrow, “what are you even saying?”

hyunjin looked at him like he was dumb, “i like him a lot.”

at this, the bowl jisung was washing slipped from his hands, causing the soapy water in the sink to splash out onto the floor and all over their socked feet.

hyunjin whined, and then started giggling, nudging jisung’s shoulder with his own. “is it really that shocking?”

and if jisung really thought about it, no. looking back at the way hyunjin interacted with the leader, it was quite obvious, really.

the taller boy constantly made himself smaller when he sat on chan’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and leaning in to whisper things into the older boy’s ear. jisung had often wondered what those things were, with the way the majority of them had chan’s eyes widening a little and more often than not garnering an incredulous laugh, hyunjin giggling into his neck at his reaction. now that he knew how hyunjin felt, he didn’t really want to know anymore.

jisung hated everything about this, his heart was beating so fast. of course this would happen to him. “do you plan on doing anything about it?”

hyunjin looked at jisung cheekily and winked, causing jisung to grimace as he continued to wash the bowl he’d dropped.

hyunjin laughed, “i’m just kidding. i’ve _been_ trying to do something about it, all i want is for him to, i don’t know, see me.” 

jisung thought it was all so ironic. why couldn’t hyunjin see _him_.

the smaller boy felt so strange, hyunjin hadn’t even said anything about liking boys to him, let alone chan. “i didn’t even know you liked boys.”

huh, hyunjin didn’t realise he hadn’t had that talk with jisung before, “i just like people,” he shrugged, “good, caring people with amazing leadership skills.”

jisung tried not to let that get to him, tried to push down the thoughts of _so i’m just not a good enough person_ and _if he likes chan there’s no way he’d ever like me_ but that annoying, negative feeling in his heart was becoming unbearable. they’re almost finished washing up, he could hold it all back just a little longer.

“but anyway,” hyunjin continued, “as i said, i’m just a kid to him. he will never see me as more.” he let out a very dramatic sigh, picking up the stack of dried bowls and placing them in the cupboard above them.

“his loss.” jisung replied, trying to sound as casual and jokey as possible. he really hated this.

“exactly!” the taller boy said, pointing a finger at jisung in agreement, “you would never do this to me. his loss, i’ll just have to like you instead.”

hyunjin always said dumb stuff like that, and it made the tips of his ears heat up and his insides go crazy. jisung tried to match hyunjin’s amused giggles, afraid that if he replied it would come out weird and the butterflies in his tummy would fly out of his mouth and ruin everything. 

“what’re you two kids giggling about? why are we liking jisung instead?” both of the younger boys jumped, not expecting chan of all people to walk into the kitchen.

hyunjin immediately latched onto the older boy, similar to the way a koala would a branch, “because you won't kiss me and give me attention, so i’ll move on to smaller but better things, like my best friend over here.”

jisung couldn’t believe how blunt and honest hyunjin was sometimes. how could he just say things like that as if it was nothing? he’s completely shameless.

chan laughed wholeheartedly, reaching his free hand up to ruffle hyunjin’s hair, much like the larger boy had complained about earlier, “i’m sure jisung would love to help you out, you big baby.”

jisung’s skin felt prickly for a moment.

the older boy made noises of struggle as he tried to get to the refrigerator with a large eighteen-year-old boy clinging onto him, but once he got there, he opened it and pulled out an almost empty packet of strawberries.

jisung pulled out the plug, letting the dirty water drain from the sink and turned around, giving the other two boys his full attention. just as he did so, hyunjin opened his mouth cutely, waiting to be fed. 

“you should wash them first.” he commented, reaching over to steal the packet and turning back around to quickly rinse them under the tap.

“i’ll feed you if you get off me,” chan said to hyunjin who whined but complied, “if i can’t dance tomorrow because of a sore shoulder, it’s your fault.” the older continued, rolling his shoulder a few times to stretch it out.

jisung handed the strawberries back to chan, not before taking one for himself. the older boy popped the fruit into hyunjin’s mouth, smiling at the cute way his lips pouted as he chewed. jisung wanted to leave.

“i could give you the best massage of your life if that happens.” the larger boy said provocatively, making jisung’s eyes widen.

chan just laughed, starting to walk out of the kitchen. just before he exited, he turned around and lazily pointed at jisung with a strawberry in his hand, looking at hyunjin, “you’re not kissing me, so i think he’s your best bet.” 

their leader winked, popped the fruit into his mouth and left.

jisung was completely taken off guard by the interaction, but the larger boy just groaned and complained as if it happened all the time, looking pointedly at jisung as if to say _“see! he’s so mean!”_ before leaving the kitchen, muttering about wet socks.

it wasn’t until almost a week later that jisung became so fed up with hearing his best friend go on and on about their leader that he decided to finally do something about it. 

jisung and hyunjin had spent the last 2 hours practising their rapping, trying to perfect their verses combined with their choreography for their newest comeback. throughout those 2 hours, hyunjin would not stop whining about chan, about all the little things he says, how good he sounded that morning during recording, just all the small things the taller boy felt were absolutely necessary to whine about. jisung was completely over it.

he made up an excuse to stay behind when they were called to finish up and head home, saying that chan wanted him to stop by his studio for 3racha business before leaving. hyunjin understood, telling jisung to come find him when he got home.

once he got to chan’s studio, he let himself in and immediately flopped down onto one of the spare chairs by the older boy’s desk and let out a sigh.

chan had startled a little bit, not expecting any visitors. “hello?” he said slowly, chuckling.

“you need to tell hyunjin you’re not interested, hyung.” jisung said hopelessly, “seriously.”

the older boy swung around in his chair to face jisung, instantly feeling bad, “you’re gonna need to be a bit more specific, sungie.”

“he likes you a lot and i know you know this, so why haven’t you said anything?” he was so tired.

“he doesn’t actually like me like that-” 

“are you joking? i’m in hell every time i hang out with him because all he sees is you, you’re the only thing he talks about anymore and i know it’s pathetic but it’s really hard on me.” jisung sat up properly, trying to get chan to understand how serious he was.

“okay, i know, i’m sorry.” chan said, reaching forward and placing his hands above jisung’s knees, “but i really don’t think he likes me like he thinks he does. i think he’s just confusing appreciation and admiration with other feelings.”

this was impossible to jisung, “but the way he talks about you is, like, he just really wants you... or something.” he feels so stupid saying these things. 

“he talks about me like he thinks he should. you know him, he needs attention and validation, like, all the time,” the older chuckles, “and i give it to him, and he’s hormonal, so he gets it all muddled up and, y’know…” he trailed off, hoping jisung would understand what he was saying.

“but why haven’t you told him? wouldn’t it be the right thing to do?” the younger boy was so confused. if their leader knew all of this, then why would he let it continue? he knows how jisung feels towards hyunjin, surely he knew the boy would talk about it to him.

“i thought he’d realise it for himself, grow out of it or something. plus, it was quite entertaining,” he said, an amused smile on his face, but it quickly turned apologetic once he looked back up at jisung. “i should have stopped it, sorry ji. i’ll tell him tonight.”

“you better. he’ll be waiting for me, but you can take that opportunity.” jisung just wanted it to be over. he wanted to talk about all the things he loved to talk about with hyunjin again, he really missed his best friend.

“you’re so cute. i didn’t peg you to be the extreme jealous type.” chan chuckled, ruffling a pouty jisung’s hair.

“yeah, well.” jisung huffed.

keeping his word, chan made his way into hyunjin’s bed that night for a chat. hyunjin had been in the middle of sending a text to jisung, something about missing him and cuddling, when chan unexpectedly climbed in next to him. 

“hi,” chan whispered with a smile, hyunjin’s tummy flipped, “we need to talk about your feelings.”

hyunjin tried to move closer to his leader, wanting to wrap his arms around his middle, but chan stopped him, “i need you to listen to me, yeah?” 

hyunjin nodded and sat up so that they were both facing each other, he was beginning to feel nervous.

“i love you, hyunjin, i really do, but you have to realise your feelings for me are just… uh, they’re not–“ he sighed, “look, look at me right now and imagine all the things you think you want us to do together, like really think about it and then tell me if you really want it.” chan wasn’t expecting to be so bad at this.

hyunjin just stared at chan, his heart racing. his brows slowly started to rise as he took in what chan had just told him to do. hyunjin quickly realised that, even though he’s talked about it, he had never really _imagined_ it, he’s only enjoyed the thought.

“okay, i can tell already that you’ve never thought it through.” the older scoffed, impressed by how right he was, “you don’t actually want me, jinnie, you’ve just been projecting your horny teen needs onto someone who you admire, and now you’re confused.”

“how do you just, like, know that?” hyunjin’s mind was spinning, he felt embarrassed. what was he going to tell jisung now? “hyung, this is… i’m not sure.”

“what? d’you want proof or something?” he laughed, so did hyunjin, “i’ll tell you what, let’s kiss.”

hyunjin could have died, “are you serious?” his eyes were large, and when chan nodded, he was almost positive they were going to roll out of his skull.

“since it seems like you need convincing.” chan said casually and moved forward on the bed so that they wouldn’t be in such an awkward position for the kiss.

“okay, you lead.” chan chuckled at this, of course the younger would say that. he paused for a moment to decide if he should lean in slowly or if he should just dive right in, but he decided on an in-between.

the closer chan got to hyunjin’s face, the faster hyunjin’s heart pounded. he’d wanted this since forever, right? so why was he leaning away at the same speed the older was leaning in?

chan’s eyes fluttered closed and hyunjin felt his stomach drop. “hyung,” hyunjin squeaked, “no.”

the older opened his eyes and beamed, bringing his hands up to cup both of hyunjin’s cheeks and leaned up to give him a peck on the forehead, “exactly.”

the leader immediately crawled off the bed, mumbling about going to get jisung. hyunjin was pretty sure he heard him say something about kissing him instead, and he desperately hoped chan didn’t mean himself.

later, almost an hour into cuddling hyunjin, jisung decided he’d had enough of listening to hyunjin’s heartbeat speed up and slow down over and over again.

“what’re you thinking about?” he asked, turning his head to look up at the boy, his head leaving his chest and his hand coming up to replace it.

“did chan kiss you?” hyunjin frowned.

did chan– huh? “hyunjin, what the hell? of course not.” he was beyond confused.

hyunjin let out a breath, “good.” 

the smaller boy tensed at this. they laid still for a few moments more before jisung broke, he was just so confused. “hyunjin–“

“i don’t like hyung, it turns out.” hyunjin said, smiling sheepishly. jisung’s tummy swooped.

“oh. good.” so chan was right?

hyunjin raised a brow and turned to look at jisung, “good?”

“i- that’s good, right?” jisung knew he was blushing, and he knew hyunjin was looking.

“i guess. i think he said that i’m just a horny virgin who got confused with the different types of being taken care of but, i don’t know, i was like– i was kinda shocked.” now they were both blushing. they awkwardly separated, lying next to each other instead.

jisung almost let his mind go down the path of hyunjin and his need for authority, but he got it under control before it was too late.

“why did you ask that?” jisung questioned insecurely, staring at the ceiling and fiddling with the drawstrings on his sweatpants. 

“what?”

“did hyung say anything about kissing me?” jisung’s hands were beginning to sweat.

hyunjin rolled his wrist, cracking it, “i thought maybe he did, but he was talking to himself. maybe he was saying for me to kiss you instead, don’t know.” 

“wait, did chan kiss _you_?” chan wouldn’t do that, right? jisung hated this.

“he almost did, but i freaked out and stopped him, which– _oh_ ,” he made a cute sound of realisation, “that was the whole point.” he huffed out a laugh at himself.

jisung smiled and turned to look at hyunjin, “good.”

they talked some more, mostly about pointless things, but soon fell into a comfortable silence again. jisung looked at hyunjin, who now had his eyes closed, and smiled, feeling giddy at the thought of not having to hear the boy go on and on about their leader anymore. the smaller shuffled over a bit so their sides were flush against each other and gently placed his hand in hyunjin’s. when he looked up at the boy’s face again, his tummy erupted in butterflies at the sight of hyunjin’s content smile on his lips. this seemed to be an almost permanent feeling of his.

“you’re cute.” hyunjin mumbled, softly rubbing his thumb along the back of jisung’s hand.

jisung nuzzled his forehead against the larger boy’s shoulder, “you are.”

over the next few weeks, chan watched the two. he saw how jisung was happier with hyunjin, the boy’s eyes always twinkling with adoration at almost every word the older spoke. he also saw the way hyunjin clung to jisung more than he did before, and he swears every time he sees hyunjin watching jisung as he rapped or danced, he could see hyunjin’s heart growing. 

it was in the way his hands rubbed at the back of his neck when he looked away, hoping jisung wouldn’t catch him staring. or when he didn’t look away, it was in the way his smile shone brighter than ever as he high fived jisung and hyped him up _(“that’s my best friend! my best fucking friend!”)_. but most of all, it was in the way he could see hyunjin intensely thinking, sitting on the floor and staring at his hands as his brain and heart worked one hundred miles a second.

usually, chan would catch him like that after the boy had spent a lot of time alone with jisung. hyunjin would be too lost in himself that he wouldn’t notice the eyes on him, but this time chan must’ve seen him at the tail end of it all, because when hyunjin looked up and their eyes met, he got up and rushed over to chan and pulled him by the wrist in the direction of the older’s studio.

“your studio’s free, right?” hyunjin asked quietly, walking faster when chan nodded. 

when the door to the studio closed, hyunjin whipped around in such a way that had chan stumbling backwards against it. “hyunjin--”

“do you know if jisung likes me?” hyunjin was almost frantic, so chan reached for his hand and brought them both to the couch on the other side of the room.

“hyung, i think jisung likes me, and i think i’m starting to like him, too, but after- i don’t know if it’s... real.” hyunjin looked at chan with the most pitiful eyes he’d ever seen, and chan’s heart broke just a little.

so hyunjin’s having doubts about his own feelings because of him. chan feels guilt hit him like a kick to the gut. he brings a hand up to soothingly rub at hyunjin’s back and sighs, “hyunjin, please don’t doubt yourself because of me, just listen to what your heart says. i know you think a lot, you think so much and that’ll only confuse you more.”

the taller boy nodded, letting chan know that thinking _did_ make it more confusing. “i keep comparing my thoughts i have now to the ones i had about you, and- it’s embarrassing to say it now, _god,_ but it was needy and always about wanting you to, like, see me as _older,_ if you get what i’m-” hyunjin shut his eyes tightly and groaned when chan chuckled at him. “with jisung, i just want to be with him. it’s not about wanting him to make me feel wanted, because he does that naturally, it’s like i want to make _him_ feel wanted on an emotional level. i don’t know, i sound stupid.”

“no,” chan shook his head and frowned, “look at me.” hyunjin turned and looked up at chan through his lashes, his eyes rather begging puppy-ish. “you don’t sound stupid, you sound like you have it figured out already, it’s just that your mind is trying to find anything it can to invalidate your heart.”

chan thought for a moment, watching hyunjin as he took in the older’s words, and then sat back and let a small sound of wonder fall from his lips, “what makes you think jisung likes you?”

the younger boy turned to face chan completely, “i can just feel it. he’s really open with his feelings whether he knows it or not.” hyunjin’s eyes twinkled with adoration. 

chan chuckled, “yeah, he’s never been good at hiding how he feels, huh?” this made chan think back to when the two were at each other’s throats all the time. no one ever stepped in to stop them because everyone could see that they didn’t really hate each other. well, maybe except for seungmin.

“so you know, right? he does like me?” hyunjin accused, and chan panicked just a little bit.

“i never said that.”

“hyung, come on.” the younger looked at him with eyes that read _‘i’m not stupid’_ , which, _debatable_ , chan thought.

“all i’m saying is that this is a conversation for you and jisung to have. there’s nothing that could ever ruin you two, so i don’t understand why you’re making it so complicated, jinnie.” chan said as he stood up and began to make his way to the door, prompting hyunjin to follow him.

“you’re probably right.” hyunjin sighed, attaching himself to chan’s side as they walked. this was something that chan was grateful for, hyunjin never becoming any less clingy after realising he didn’t like him. he would never admit it out loud, but chan needed the boy’s clinginess just as much as he needed to cling.

when the leader told hyunjin to talk to jisung, he was expecting the two to be openly in love and singing about being each other’s boyfriends in no time at all, but that never came. instead, there was this unexpected shift in how hyunjin acted. he was shy when he and jisung touched, which in turn made jisung shy, so there was just this weird, coy energy that surrounded the two, and the rest of the group watched on in slight confusion and amusement.

jisung was positive he and hyunjin knew they liked each other. they had a _thing_ , he knew it. but they were treating it almost as a competition of who can hold hands the shyest. neither of them wanted to break the bubble and ask what the hell they were doing, so it just… continued.

it continued well into their next comeback, their busy preparation keeping their minds occupied enough to not drown in the weird energy they had going on, and then it was fansign after fansign, which stopped them from the inevitable _what the fuck is going on with us_ conversation they desperately needed to have because they didn’t want everything to change and have it be painfully obvious to the fans.

it was kind of a shit show, actually.

the big moment happened during their last week of promotions. and, well, it wasn’t really a big moment at all.

it was disgustingly early in the morning, and everyone was just lazing around in their waiting room. they still had a few hours of waiting around before their prerecording actually started, so almost everyone was sleeping on the floor, either piled up on top of each other or alone curled up against a wall. 

chan was up, though, with his laptop out on one of the couches with a few of their staff, getting their opinions on whether he should use this drum sound or the other one, or if this barely noticeable bass synth felt more impactful than what he had before.

hyunjin was watching him from his place on the floor, arms and legs wrapped around jisung as he was sure the younger was asleep. his face was comfortably squished up against jisung’s shoulder and he liked it like this. 

as he watched their leader, he thought back to a time he would have been convincing himself that chan looked _so_ hot right now, and he huffed out a laugh because honestly, the older looked a bit funny when he was so serious like this. as he thought more, his mind travelled to the boy he was pressed against, and in a desperate moment of _how was i ever not in love with you!!!_ he simply said, “i love you, sungie.”

“hm?” ah, fuck. jisung was awake, and hyunjin’s face was too squished, jisung didn’t understand him.

hyunjin’s heart began to race as he removed his face from the younger’s shoulder and he began to stutter, “i, i–um, w-well y’know. um, i love– i.”

jisung grinned, eyes still closed, “mm, i love you more.”

and this, well, _this_ lit a fire inside hyunjin, and he was immediately sitting up with an incredulous look on his face, “now that is just _so_ untrue! i literally love you so much. like i actually am so in love with you, i just don’t think that’s possible!” jisung’s eyes flew open— “there is genuinely _no way_ you could love me more right now, so nice try, buddy—“

chan just smiled to himself and turned his headphones up, there was no use in basking in the moment anymore, because this was going to be their relationship, this was just how they were going to be now. it was what they were all expecting from the start. 

chan began to giggle as he saw the staff groan and flop back into the couch, members rolling around in their places, trying to find a way to cover their ears successfully, already fed up.

_“hyunjin, shut up!”_

_“no! there is_ no way _you love me more!”_

**Author's Note:**

> :)))) i hope this flowed well and wasn't too odd :)))))) pls leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think it's the only reason i'm posting this rn i need words of affirmationjjhhhhdjjfjdkdk uumm,,,,,, hehe thank you for reading!! hopefully i can write more next year hing >.<
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/gyurisun)


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